Thursday, September 19, 2013

How to *really* spot a paedophile




Recently, news.com.au journalist Candace Sutton posted a report outlining the warning signs for identifying your local neighbourhood paedophile.
With decades of experience under her belt covering cases of sex offenders as a crime reporter, and having worked in the NSW prison system for six years studying cases and interviewing psychologists and experts in the field of sex offences, her knowledge was soundly conveyed with professional research and insight to outline specific physical characteristics and behavioural traits that denote paedophilic tendencies.
 
For example, alarm bells should start ringing if any of the following suspicious characters sound familiar to YOU in your everyday life:

-  an ‘everyman’
- a relative who is charming
- a married adult male, who works anywhere from unskilled work up to corporate executive
- someone whose friends might also be sex offenders
(*Emphasis on that ‘might’, people!)
- someone who is bisexual, or prefers only boys, or prefers only girls
- someone who likes infants and toddlers, children between six and ten years old, or "tweens" and
young teenagers up to the age of 16

- a sport coach, camp counsellor, bus driver, daycare worker, dance school teacher or band leader
- “a Boy Scout leader, church or secular youth worker”, (though keep in mind that “Australian parents should not comfort themselves with the notion child sex offences… are confined to likely suspects such as Boy Scout leaders or Catholic priests.”)
- someone who has photographs of children who are fully dressed
- a father, stepfather, uncle, grandfather or live-in boyfriend
- someone who gives children gifts
- charming, attractive men with social graces
- respected community members
 
Have *YOU* seen any raging perverts like this in your area?

Most people would have some difficulty in thinking of somebody they know who fits one or more of these highly precise descriptions, which is a sign of just how difficult it can truly be to spot a kiddie fiddler in your vicinity. Perhaps we must cast our net wider with some slightly more vague and equivocal criteria.

As mentioned before, having sexual interest in anyone up to the age of 16 is a clear indicator of a paedophile. With this in mind, we should take into consideration the age of consent laws in countries around the world.


Map courtesy of the International Sex Offender Registry.

It would be racist to assume that children in one area of the world develop any physically or cognitively different to any other child in the world, thereby justifying a lower age of legal competence for consenting to a sexual act. Hence, it is an objective scientific observation to deem any government supported by its national citizens with an age of consent below 16 to all be paedophiles. (Why, these age of consent laws are usually drafted up by a national panel of educated experts in the field, passed through legislative scrutiny by government and then adhered to by the general public who elect their ruling representatives. Only paedophilic citizens would see no need to protest the age of consent laws in their country being under 16, as suggested by the professional assessment of news.com.au journalist Candace Sutton.)
 
For example, take the country Spain. In 1999, Spain had a national age of consent of 12.
This was on par with other nation states such as:
Angola
Aruba
Brazil
CuraƧao
Mexico
and Vatican City.

Thankfully, the child-molesting Spanish people raised the age of consent to 13, slotting them alongside:
Argentina
Burkina Faso
Comoros
Japan
Niger
and South Korea, on the chart of perverted nonce nations.

(Note that Japan is the third most powerful developed nation on Earth, with a GDP of $5.1 trillion and average life expectancy of 83.5 years old. This isn't some backwater underdeveloped despot nation in the middle of the desert, but a reflection of the elite, empowered system of paedophilia that proliferates throughout our international communities.)

Going further, if we take into consideration nations with an age of consent of 14, we can now also incriminate the paedophile-filled borders of:
Albania
Austria
Bangladesh
Bosnia & Herzegovina
Botswana
Bulgaria
Burma
Canada
Cape Verde
Chad
Chile
China
Colombia
Democratic Republic of the Congo
Ecuador
Estonia
Germany
Hungary
Italy
Lichtenstein
Lesotho
Macedonia
Madagascar
Malawi
Montenegro
Paraguay
Peru
Portugal
San Marino
Serbia
and several states in the USA on technicality.

Moving on to countries with a perverse age of consent of 15, we can now expand our base of identified paedophiles as anybody living in:
Cambodia
Costa Rica
Czech Republic
Denmark
France
French Polynesia
Greece
Honduras
Iceland
Jordan
Kiribati
Kuwait
Laos
Monaco
North Korea
Poland
Romania
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
Sint Maarten
Slovakia
Slovenia
Solomon Islands
Sweden
Syria
Thailand
Turkey
Tuvalu
or Uruguay.

Do you know anybody from any these countries?
Do you know anybody who has visited any of these countries, thus arousing suspicion of intended child-fucking tourism and supporting national paedophilic industry?
Moreover, do you know anyone who follows a religion?

- The Catholic Church, inhabiting the Vatican State, still follows an 1889 Zanardelli Code that states the age of consent is 12 years old.

- In 2008, a Saudi court refused to annul the marriage between an 8-year-old girl and a 58-year-old man, due to customary laws regarding sex after marriage.
 
-This year in Yemen, an 8-year-old bride was raped to death by her 40-year-old husband on the night of their arranged marriage after the Yemeni government dropped age of consent amendments in 2009.

Never sheikh your baby.
 
Indeed, the age of consent in decades past was considerably lower than contemporary times.

- 13th Century Europe had a customary age of 7 for marriage, with some 2 to 3 year olds being married during the period.

-Italy and Germany enacted the first age of consent laws in the late 16th Century, with an age of 12.

-17th Century American colonies considered marriage for girls under 12 to be ‘normal’, with a standard age of 9 considered acceptable.

- The 1791 French Constitution set the age of consent at 11, with Portugal, Spain, Denmark and Switzerland similarly setting a minimum age to have sex between 10-12 years of age.

- During the mid-19th Century, ages of consent between 10 and 13 were commonplace in Western countries.

-The US state of Delaware still had the legal age of 7 in place in 1895. There are 3 American people living today who were born before then. THEY ARE PAEDOPHILES.



God, what *is* it with 110-year-olds?

Most countries today only raised their age of consent laws in the latter half of the 20th Century.
If you know someone born in the mid-20th-Century, THEY ARE PROBABLY A PAEDOPHILE.

PAEDOPHILE IS AN ANAGRAM OF ‘HAILED POPE’, ‘A HID PEOPLE’ and ‘PIPED A HOLE’.

DO *YOU* KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS PEOPLE?!

THE WORLD. IS. PAEDOPHILES.
 
 


Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Limp Bizkit parody - "Freddy Should Go"

To the tune of 'Ready To Go' by Limp Bizkit (feat. Lil Wayne)
 
 
 
[INTRO]
Go check your prostate!
Who is this?! (Limp what?)
They’re such… old… news!
Old farts! (Shut ‘em up!)
Boo! (Oh god, turn it off!)
Tell Freddy to quit!
 
 [CHORUS]
They said Limp Bizkit wouldn’t suck anymo’
They said the whole lame group would stop with each terrible show
We think that men in their forties should not go on tour
Your act is kitsch, as you jump around sweaty and old
Looks like your mosh pit is an elderly home
You shouldn’t headbang or you’ll pop your back, crackin’ a bone
A bristly chin from that paedophile beard that you’ve grown
And now we wish that this old bloated Freddy would go
Yeah, Freddy should go. Yeah, Freddy should go
You’re filthy rich, call it quits now and head on back home
Start getting more toned, by shedding a stone
Keep out the fridge and please don’t do Nu Metal no mo’

[VERSE 1- FRED DURST]
Fat, eating chocolate starfish hotdogs
Give those finger paints back to Lady Gaga
That's right it's Freddy D, the chubby-head emcee
You know this chump should have quit back in 2003 (Oh!)
What a group of schmucks, straight outta Jacksonville
Such a rip-off paying twenty bucks for Three Dollar Bill
Your clothes are looking tight, you sure you’re eating right?
Look like a walking lump of biscuit crumbs and cellulite
Still you linger on, when Linkin Park has died
This mic fiend’s getting plumper, lay off the pumpkin pie
You had your moment, guys. The 90s passed us by
Yet still you gobble-up customers to suck ‘em dry (Pay up!)
Damn, you jumped the shark hard. Zoolander and Eminem?
Zach Galifianakis called - he wants his hobo look back, man
You’re still in stock? Where’s your latest album sold?
Oh, it’s on the shelf, hiding underneath the mould
  
 [CHORUS]
They said Limp Bizkit wouldn’t suck anymo’
They said the whole lame group would stop with each terrible show
We think that men in their forties should not go on tour
Your act is kitsch, as you jump around sweaty and old
Looks like your mosh pit is an elderly home
You shouldn’t headbang or you’ll pop your back, crackin’ a bone
A bristly chin from that paedophile beard that you’ve grown
You know we wish that this old bloated Freddy would go
Yeah, Freddy should go. Yeah, Freddy should go
You’re filthy rich, call it quits now and head on back home
Start getting more toned, by shedding a stone
Keep out the fridge and please don’t do Nu Metal no mo’
  
[VERSE 2- LIL WAYNE]
What the fuck is up?
Uh, fuck, my words cuss a lot
I’m gon’ spit some swag, then clutch my crotch
Snort crack from a trashbag, much disgust
C’mon. Bucks! Bucks, bucks in the six figures
Concert double-charge so we’ve sold plenty more tickets
Schmucks! Suck up all this Limp Bizkit
Now we’re rich making lots as your spend your millions
Uh, and it’s easy to be rich, yo
See, if a teen’s white, take that kid’s dough
You’ll blow up from show spots where ya spits flow
Then make a music video with nymphos
Yeah, do hip-hop, if you’ve flopped
I’ll take Limp Bizkit money, until they get dropped
So just Keep Rollin’, ‘til you’re head hurts
Let’s stack up more plaques milking Fred Durst

[CHORUS]
They said Limp Bizkit wouldn’t suck anymo’
They said the whole lame group would stop with each terrible show
We think that men in their forties should not go on tour
Your act is kitsch, as you jump around sweaty and old
Looks like your mosh pit is an elderly home
You shouldn’t headbang or you’ll pop your back, crackin’ a bone
A bristly chin from that paedophile beard that you’ve grown
And now we wish that this old bloated Freddy would go
Yeah, Freddy should go. Yeah, Freddy should go
You’re filthy rich, call it quits now and head on back home
Start getting more toned, by shedding a stone
Keep out the fridge and please don’t do Nu Metal no mo’
 
[VERSE 3]
So Wes is quite the artist, with ink and brush mascaras
Doesn’t paint a picture, he paints colours up his armpits
Gotta do my house chores, then I’ll mow my damn lawn
My lifestyle after forty’s rather dull and quite the bore
I was a rock god, now zero albums sell
I should buy a beard comb, it really smells
Yeah, I’m old and getting round as my belly swells
Shit, my pants ripped, hope I brought another belt

[CHORUS]
Limp Bizkit, get the fuck out the door
They said your whole lame group would stop with each terrible show
We think that men in their forties should not go on tour
Your act is kitsch, as you jump around sweaty and old
Looks like your mosh pit is an elderly home
You shouldn’t headbang or you’ll pop your back, crackin’ a bone
A bristly chin from that paedophile beard that you’ve grown
And now we wish that this old bloated Freddy would go
Yeah, Freddy should go. Yeah, Freddy should go
You’re filthy rich, call it quits now and head on back home
Start getting more toned, by shedding a stone
Keep out the fridge and please don’t do Nu Metal no mo’



Monday, September 16, 2013

A brief comparison of the Australian Coalition vs Labor party

(* Foreword: I did not vote for either Coalition or Labor in the 2013 election. Senate choices were made below the line and jumped between parties based on the experience and policies of individual candidates.)

Today, Tony Abbott's government cabinet was announced, presenting the Australian public with the front bench that will be serving in the House of Representatives for the next 3 years. Numerous portfolios were dropped from previous government arrangements, including:
- Science
- Energy
- Climate
- Youth
- Early Childhood
- Aged Care
- Status Of Women.

Newly implemented was a minister of Border Protection (Scott Morrison) and Health Minister Peter Dutton will also double as minister for Sport.

Early criticisms have already arisen regarding the ratio of women to men in the Coalition cabinet, outer ministry and parliamentary secretaries; tallied at 1:18, 4:7 and 1:11 respectively (6:36 in total).

Let us compare these ratios to the Coalition and Labor ministers that Australia was voting for mere weeks ago:



Ha. Interesting, that.